Compulsive gamblers often look back on the past, hating how selfish they were.
Not seeming to care about anyone else in the world… just the overwhelming urge to find the cash for the next bet.
When I was gambling, I didn’t care about anything that had any importance in my life:
– My family
– My friends
– My job
– My welfare
The only thing I cared about was making sure there was enough in the pot to fund the next gamble. The ones after that I didn’t worry about… my next big win would cover those!
What a fool I was.
I didn’t care how I got the money. I really didn’t give a damn.
I did some truly horrible things that will haunt me until my last breath.
I stole from my family.
I stole from my children.
I lied and borrowed money I had no intention of ever paying back.
All addictions are selfish. You lose perspective. You lose your moral code.
You are disgusted with yourself, but you can’t stop.
You can’t bear to look at yourself in the mirror.
Addiction made me that man. The real Sam was still in there, trapped inside… but for the longest time he wasn’t strong enough to fight back.
But eventually, with support, willpower and the love of a family who never once gave up on me.
I found the strength.
And I hope if someone needs it, my words can help someone else find theirs.
Recovering Gambling Addict.